Autofiction

too much conditioner
but I liked the feeling
down my back
            & in a flash my hand
glided off my ass.

this is the closest i’ll be
to being a gymnast,
but can’t recall
which staircase i regularly took
            & used both banisters
to fully avoid the stairs.
landing. landing. landing.

            & what i believe
to be genetics throbbed
in my temple again—
another distant relative
i didn’t know died.

i died & a man lugged me
in front of strangers. i
was someone else.
a character. a character
who night after night
died until the show within
the show ended.

it only took two seconds—
the large snow-covered limb
fell. i had just turned to look
out the window. i thought
the turning of my head
caused it to happen. it felt
like a dropping in my stomach,
            & then just laid there
for a similar amount of time.

can’t not say anything
to the stranger who’s apparently
already seen the movie—
the stranger who’s anticipating
            & responding
to some scenes
just before they happen.
i too have seen the movie
before, but i don’t want
to remember any of it.